 Brandon Iron's 'Perverted Planet 3'
The indefatigable Tony Malice of AVN Award-winning studio JM Productions checks in with
the following dispatch about Brandon Iron's latest adult travelogue, Perverted Planet 3.
Take it away, Tony: "Many pornographers are
perfectly content to create all of their movies right here in Southern California's
beautiful San Fernando Valley. For some, however, restricting their depravity to the
confines of one city, one state, or even a single country seems to be an unfair limitation
of their creative expression. They are artists, after all.
JM Productions is proud to announce that the perversion of
everyone's favorite dysfunctional sex addict Brandon Iron knows no such geographic
boundaries. And today, he will be releasing Perverted Planet 3, proof of the global
scale of his philandering, available on DVD through his Brandon Iron Productions label.
When you are shamelessly addicted to hookers, a city the
size of Los Angeles can ultimately be a very small place.
"As anyone who's ever had a conversation longer than
twenty seconds with Brandon knows, he stays up all night surfing the Internet in search of
the next whore willing to drain his balls," explains JM publicist Tony Malice.
"Eventually, you're going to exhaust all of the local resources for pussy that are
within driving distance and you'll have to look elsewhere."
Brandon Iron is no stranger to traveling the world in
search of the next ass, mouth, our cunt in need of filling. "As much as I hate
to admit it, I'm originally from Canada," explains Iron. "In the early 1990s, I
ran out of strange new pussy up there, and that's why I relocated to California in the
first place. I always like to find new places to cum."
In addition to shooting giant loads of sperm all over
themselves, Brandon hopes that porn fans will also get a bit of culture from this movie.
"Really, a film like Perverted Planet 3 offers a
diverse experience to the viewer," boasts Brandon. "It's about traveling to far
away places with your good friends, enjoying exotic cuisine, seeing both architectural and
natural beauty, and filming Steve Holmes embed his 10-inch cock up a Polish prostitute's
asshole at 4am."
Brandon would probably be the first to admit that his
sex-obsessed lifestyle is not exactly healthy or conducive to fulfilling real-life
interpersonal relationships with women, and many close to him agree.
"Brandon's inexhaustible hunger for meaningless sexual
encounters with sperm devouring whores – both foreign and domestic – is merely
an attempt for him to fill his otherwise empty existence," explains Iron's therapist,
who wished not to be named. "But in the end, the necrosis of Brandon's soul delivers
amazing value and enhanced strokability to the fan, and it's hard for me to find any fault
in that at all."
Even some fans have recently begun to question Iron's
dysfunctional obsession with ripe 18-year-old pussy, be it from America or abroad.
"It is unnatural for 30-year-olds and up to touch
18-year-old girls, these girls that were born in 1990," writes an XXXPornTalk poster.
"Brandon and his dirty old scumbag friends should not be fucking any girls that were
born in 1990 and turned 18 in August, September, and the first part of November!"
Brandon simply dismisses these protestors as jealous haters
who are "far creepier than I am."
Brandon Iron's Perverted Planet 3 stars Lea Lexis, Lulu
Martinez, Stella Delcroix, Crystal Crown, Linda Ray, Kyra Banks, Addison Cain, and Riley
Ray getting drilled and filled by Brandon and friends.
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